No such thing as perfect

Do you put pressure on yourself to live up to expectations? Whose expectations are they anyway? Do you feel that you need to perform better? Achieve more? Love more? What would happen if you let go of these expectations? Would the world cave in? Would people stop loving you? No, instead you could operate in line with your true Self. From YOURpotential rather than someone else's storyline.

I am seeing quite a few people in clinic who are struggling with trying to be everything to all people, who end up feeling like a failure because this is impossible. They belittle themselves for any "so-called" unacceptable behaviour and lose contact with their inner power.

The media tells us we need to be beautiful, buff, with straight white teeth and immaculate hair. You need to have a degree, fancy car, perfect partner and gorgeous children to be happy. You should always be friendly, polite, kind and loving, witty and intelligent and the life of the party. Never grumpy, sad or confrontational... This is an illusion my friend, that is sold to you through marketing to try to make you buy a product.

*It is not real life. No-one is that person. *

We are all flawed in some way. We might drink too much alcohol, eat too much chocolate, dislike our work colleagues or resent our parents or children. Let's not even get started on our spouse....

We grow up with society's pressure to try to be perfect all of the time, which is an impossibility, even for the most saint-like among us.

How do we get past this illusion? It starts with self-acceptance. Acceptance of ALL aspects of yourself, including the moody, anti-social, anxious or depressed self. Also the angry, bitter, resentful feelings that sometimes occur. You are all of these things and so much more. We are very complex beings and cannot ever live up to some cardboard cut-out image that is projected in the media.

Carl Jung referred to the part of ourselves that we reject as our "shadow side", that which we deny and suppress from consciousness. When we reject these parts of ourselves, they can return at the most inopportune time as a psychodrama over which we feel we have no control.

Loving ourselves includes accepting all aspects of ourselves, including those things we do not like. Embrace yourself as a whole and bring each part of yourself into the fold. This is an ongoing process that brings us closer to being whole.

"To be beautiful means to be yourself. You don't need to be accepted by others. You just need to accept yourself" Thich Nhat Hanh

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