Letting Go of “Should”: Speaking to Yourself with Compassion

The words we use—especially in our inner dialogue—hold great power. One of the most common, and most quietly harmful, words I hear from clients (and sometimes catch in myself) is “should.”

“I should do more.”

“I should be different.”

“I should be like them.”

These kinds of thoughts can feel productive or motivating, but more often than not, they drain our energy and disconnect us from our own truth. “Should” is rooted in comparison, perfectionism, and a quiet sense of not being enough.

One of the most healing practices we can cultivate is learning to listen—truly listen—to the way we speak to ourselves. Would you speak to a dear friend the way you speak to yourself? Would you demand perfection from someone you love?

You are the one constant companion on your journey through life. You will walk with yourself through every joy, every challenge, every quiet moment in between. What would it feel like to become your own ally instead of your critic?

When we begin to meet ourselves with kindness, support, and curiosity, something begins to shift. We create a gentler inner landscape, and others often mirror that energy in how they respond to us. This is not about self-indulgence or avoidance—it’s about cultivating emotional wellbeing from the inside out.

You are already enough.

You are worthy of love, exactly as you are.

You don’t need to be like anyone else.

Your path, your timing, and your essence are uniquely yours—and that is more than enough.

Let today be the day you choose different words.

Words like: “I honour where I’m at.”

“I am learning.”

“I am growing in my own way.”

You are not a project to fix. You are a being to love.

With warmth and understanding,

Cathy